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Monday, August 1, 2011

This Is How Bad It Really Is!


The recession has hit everybody really hard …

My neighbour got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

CEOs are now playing miniature golf.

ExxonMobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

If the bank returns your cheque marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learnt their children’s' names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island Casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

And, finally ... 

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, social security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline.  I got a call-centre in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they
got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

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